After work, put some sunglasses on, sit in your parked guy near the side of the road and point a hair dryer at passing cars.  See if they slow down.

Page yourself over an intercom at work, but don’t disguise your voice.

The next time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they’d like fries with that.

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN.”

Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks.  Once everyone has overcome their coffee addictions, switch to espresso.

If the notes field on all your checks, write “For Smuggling Diamonds.”

Finish all your sentences with “in accordance with the Prophecy.”

Don t use any punctuation

At random times, start skipping instead of walking.

Order a diet water with a serious face whenever you go out to dinner.

The next time you’re at a fast-food drive-through, specify that the order is “to go.”

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry reading and keep asking why the poems don’t rhyme.

Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day long.

Five days in advance of the next party you’re invited to, tell your friends you can’t attend because you’re not in the mood.

Ask that your friends and co-workers to address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

The next time you get some cash at the ATM, scream “I won, I won!”

When leaving the zoo, start running toward the parking lot yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!”

Tell your children over dinner: “Due to the economy, and I’m really sorry, but we’re going to have to let one of you go.”

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